On October 19, Santa Cruz Works had the pleasure of welcoming Dr. Laura Kasper, Psychologist and Interpersonal Relationship Expert, for a clinic on How to Disrupt Co-Founder Conflict. Here is a recap of the presentation:

Why is conflict so hard?

There are numerous factors that can make conflict challenging to address. Conflict can arise from individuals via mental health issues or unaddressed personal trauma, existing trust or relationship issues between co-founders, lack of productive communication tools, or business issues like unclear processes or chain of command, low funding, etc.

What is the best tool you have to navigate conflict?

Radical Self-Responsibility

All conflict is co-created. It is easy to identify ways that other people can change, but much more difficult to identify within yourself habits that may contribute to conflict. You only have control of yourself, and thus, you are the greatest place to start when it comes to addressing conflict and developing tools to navigate conflict in the next experience. It is vital that you know your self worth, your triggers, and how to calm yourself in non-abusive conflict situations.

In this presentation, Laura shares a few tools as well as exercises you can use to practice self responsibility and get to the root of why it can be so challenging and what to do about it. Some solutions include a good self-soothing or mindfulness practice, building productive listening skills, and how to speak and share your thoughts in a way that doesn’t provoke defensiveness. 

• PRODUCTIVE LISTENING: A good way to listen productively is to repeat back what you are hearing the other person say to confirm that you are hearing their point of view and making sure you are understanding them correctly.

• SHOWING EMPATHY: Practicing empathy is also important and often confused with sympathy. To have empathy for someone does not mean you have to agree with them. It means you understand the person's thoughts and feelings in a situation from their point of view, rather than just your own. Do your best to verbally acknowledge what you heard before giving your two cents.

• PRODUCTIVE SHARING: Practice sharing productively. Many times it can be challenging to share because you may be afraid of backlash or might not be used to sharing your opinion. One way to practice productive sharing can be to share in small bits versus all at once and offering feeling based feedback. Consider how, when, and where you are sharing. Is it the appropriate time, place, and manner? Scheduling time to discuss a concern versus tacking it onto an existing meeting may help.

As humans, conflict is inevitable. We each bring different experiences to the table which means we may not agree with how other people see things and how they communicate. Remember, the most valuable thing you can do is to start with yourself. Make sure you have your tools in line and are able to calm yourself down. To create change, start with reflecting on what you’re currently doing, how well it is working, and looking a the way you listen and share.

View the recording to get all the valuable details and information from Dr. Laura Kasper. A recording will be made available for SCW Members here. SCW Members can access recordings and other resources in the One Valley Passport Resources Tab. Questions or trouble logging in? Email us at info@santacruzworks.org